The picture I had of myself as a basically decent person before all this began has been shattered.

First person: 'I am not your typical shoplifter' | Special reports | Guardian Unlimited

t started with cat food. The cat came in during my housewarming party four years ago and never left. He was my landlady's but for some reason he preferred my vibrations. I didn't mind the company but with money tight, it was the food I objected to. So I began taking two sachets of cat food every time I called in at Spar. Hidden away in my back pocket, it seemed like a victimless crime. The cat was chuffed, it saved me silver and I convinced myself that, since Spar marked its food staples so high, it wouldn't miss the income on the odd sachet of tuna in jelly. But it wasn't the odd sachet. It was lots and lots, and as the cat's appetite for food grew, so too did mine for shoplifting.
Oddly, when I eventually did get nicked, I was innocent. I had been idly looking at CDs in Woolworths when a security guard noticed me. Before long I was in a police car en route to the station. It did put me off a bit, but it was the excruciating embarrassment that brought matters to a close. It is embarrassing when you can't go out for a meal with a new girlfriend or buy your ex-stepchild a birthday toy. I couldn't focus on anything, couldn't look anyone in the face. In two years I had lost all my money, quite a lot of other people's money, my self-respect and my sense of humour. I had become the sort of person I would normally avoid. That was one of the worst things, the self-loathing that built up with every stupid grab and stash. I wanted to feel normal, to regain my own trust, to like myself again.